I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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