dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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