As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
