just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Randomize
