I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
