I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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