is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Just took my morning after pill in the library
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
