Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
