She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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