i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
