i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
