I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
