i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
