OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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