I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I will pee on everything he values.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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