so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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