if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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