If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
