I don't remember. Are we still dating?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
My feet surprised me
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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