3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Randomize
