i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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