Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
