I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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