Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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