fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
