i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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