It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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