Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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