Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
