i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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