he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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