Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I stole a fireplace last night.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
