He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Randomize
