does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
