Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Randomize
