Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
