And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize