Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
