I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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