Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
