..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
