Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
