So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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