i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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