I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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