U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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