You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
