I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
