Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
