We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
