Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
