he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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