so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
