We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Randomize