Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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