I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
My hand turned me down
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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