is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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