Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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