He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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