the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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