do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Randomize
