Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
