capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
