if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
They have beer where we have blood.
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