i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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