I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
