I want you more than these girls want KFC
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
